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Forbidden Church Giggle PDF Print E-mail
Written by Angela Latoof Cagle   
Sunday, 07 March 2010 14:57

A 'first' happened to me at church today--other than the fact that I was actually at church.   Yeah, that's right.   I am known to darken the doors of a religious site upon occasion.   I even know proper 'church' behavior, dress code (for young or old), and responses.   I know this because, well, it's church--and that's just what you do at church--because of God, and All.

So today's message from me?   There are certain 'given' things one does not do at church.   Such as?   I could give you a thousand 'not to do at church' examples, but you know what?   I'm not.   I'm just going to tell you about the one (or two) you shouldn't do that happened to me and my daughter, today.   Warning, it is a bit disgusting. 

While my daughter and I are receiving our sermon, we are distracted by the couple in the pew in front of us and their struggle to control their two young boys and a 21/2 month-old baby girl.   The baby girl has a pink bow--glued in her hair--I kid you not--glued--to her head--because she is still a touch hairless on top.

The daddy has the baby, and he gives her a bottle.   She falls asleep on his shoulder with her face toward her mother, the two boys separating the parents. The mother looks over and gently reaches out toward the baby's forehead and starts squeezing this tiny zit-looking thing on the sleeping baby's forehead.

the zit, in church, on a sleeping baby.    And the mom was going after it, in front of everyone.   When she had what she apparently wanted, she starts slapping at the baby's forehead, trying to sweep off the 'debris'.   Her husband made her stop, you know, squeezing the sleeping baby's zit and swatting its forhead in church.   He told her to wait until they got into the car.

I was horrified for two very good reasons.
      1.       It was absolutely revolting, gaggingly so.
      2.       Had she awakened a sleeping baby (in church for Heaven's sake), the baby was going to have to be comforted.   And that pinched and slapped at girl would be looking directly at me as her parent would have her over his or her shoulder.   That would mean the crying baby would have been looking at me.   I'm the bad guy.

Unfair to me!   Been there and, well....you know the over-used expression.   I looked over to my daughter to see if she were seeing what I was seeing.   The look of absolute stunned revulsion on her face started yet another series of events.   She turns toward me initiating the forbidden 'church giggle'.   You know, the one 'one' is not supposed to have?   At church?   The giggle that makes you grin like 'The Joker' on Batman?    You're working so hard at not releasing the hysterical laughter in your throat, your eyebrows are pull back, your mouth grinning almost to your ears, you're breathing heavily through your nose, and your shoulders are shaking?   All the while hoping, nay, you're  praying everyone is taking one's shaking shoulders to mean you are so moved by the sermon, you are crying.    And those sounds?   They are the noises of tiny coughs, not snickers.   Now, we raised our daughter not to succumb to such temptations, so you can imagine my horror when it was I laughing uncontrollably, not she.

Well, anyway, I'm embarrassed to reveal our very unchurch-like behavior due to another's unchurch-like behavior.   But which was worse?   The Ignorant or The Shameless?   I say it's a lot like legal laws:  "Lack of knowledge of a law is no excuse for breaking the law."   Or something like that.   Don't pick anyone's zits in church, or public, or heck, anywhere for that matter.   Just don't do it.

As for the shameless?   I am ashamed.

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Mean Dean - 03-09-2010 16:44

Yea though you walk through the valley of the shadow of giggling girlies, yee shall be forever banned to the rear pew. That's why God made rear pews. (Barbarian's 2, Snicker 2) That's also a safe haven where little choir boys go to pick boogers. We who sit in these choice pews are Gods acting lookouts, & also keep a sharp eye out for priests, parents, & nuns. Further, as teenage boys, this gives us a great view of all of the pretty girls, & the main reason we always go to church on Easter Sunday (Preferred dress code is TIGHT!) Also, crying babies are Gods way of waking up a sleepy congregation, & drowns out giggling. Besides, those hard to understand sermons, demand a little levity & leprechauns - if you can find one. :whistle:
jenniebug73 - 03-08-2010 04:53

i think we have all been there done that;and once it starts its hard to stop!both the laughing and the zit popping lol
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 10 March 2010 15:15