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Me Frozen, Hungry Arse PDF Print E-mail
Written by Angela Latoof Cagle   
Wednesday, 10 February 2010 08:22

Due to the economy, I, like most Americans and people of the world, am trying to save money.   We started giving up important things--like frozen coffees.   Yeah, I know, it doesn't  sound very pathetic, but when you're used to getting one every day before work, you appreciate what you no longer have.  

After the custom coffee goes, you realize things are still tight.   So you figure, what else can I give up?   The funny thing about these self-questionnaires is, you realize there is a lot you can give up.   Damn.  

How can that be?   My giving up my favorite thing should fix all problems.   Remember, I martyred myself to save money.   Apparently, I needed to be a bigger martyr--again, damn--I hate it when that happens.

Well, we ditched the weekly family movie at the theater, renamed it family movie night, and ate non-buttered, disgusting popcorn in front of our  own T.V.   Woo Hoo!   (Or was that Horton Hears A Who?).   It's all a blur, as I am not getting my daily recommended caffeine.

So what's next?   There's always the thermostat.   So there is yet another money-saving adventure.   When it's hot outside, it's hot inside.    When it is cold outside, it is cold inside.   What does this mean?   It means we are freezing our arses off in the winter, and then sweating them off in the summer.   Are you all getting this?   

I guess I have to feed my family (and yet again--damn).   You see, when we tightened our belts, we also said, "No more going out to eat weekly.   We are eating at home."   Well, if I could cook anything well besides frozen pizza, it would be fine.   Except I can't, and it's not fine.   So, we are forced to eat my cooking.   Now that would be great if I cooked like my mother or sister, but I don't.   I cook like someone who doesn't ever want dinner guests--even when I really do.    Even for family get-togethers, I'm asked to bring the rolls.   I'm also asked not to cook them.   Can you believe that? 

So the saga continues.   Last night I served the worst meal I have ever attempted.    I have a tendency to over-cook everything (
due to a few raw chicken incidents).  And, okay, I burned the bloody frozen pizza.   And of course, my father-in-law bore witness to that difficult feat.   My oven has a personality, and its personalty doesn't like mine.   I just don't get the whole concept of the 'pinch' and the 'dash'.   So, the whole 'not going out to eat' thing has left us in a bind - sorta.

Hence, my family has made a few adjustments.   My daughter has discovered a love for a banana and peanut butter sandwich.   My son is having a romance with spaghettios, and my husband is either having an affair with the lady at Mc Donald's, or he's secretly getting good food and not sharing.   What, I can't smell?   He comes home reeking of a "Number 1"; and the special sauce on his lip crease only makes me want to kiss him - so I can lick it off.

Where does that leave us?   Cold or hot (depending on the season), hungry, decaffeinated, and eating faux popcorn.   

And you know what?   It ain't all that.


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Mean Dean - 02-12-2010 05:03

:idea: Hey Bea, I had forgotten about those grocery chicks! I buy those too, but will now have to try your easy recipe's. "Chicken Little" in Mississippi will probably burn it anyway, but I won't. However, broccoli will never pass my lips again. :X Wondering if my age-old can of Cream of Chicken Soup is outdated :?: And how come nobody in Louisiana makes Chicken-a-la-King? One of my favorites! Heck...my "Burn Buddy" & I will just meet at your house for chicken & a chick flick. :whistle:
Grandma Bea - 02-11-2010 09:10

Angela...How about picking up those barbequed chickens at the supermarket. Buy two or three and you have meals for a week! Chicken lends itself to myriad recipies...just ad a can of cream of Chicken or mushroom soup and broccoli to dinner #2,With a sprinking of Cheddar Chese...Mix with Chicken gravy (canned) and mixed veggies over rice for Dinner @3. Chicken and bacon sandwiches for #4 and wait...you're not finished yet...Simmer the bones with canned Chicken broth and Rice or noodles for a great soup at the tail end of the week. Of course...if you have a big family...you may clean out the shelves where the chickn is concerned, but what the hey...problem solved and everone may be chickened out...but healthy at the end of the week! Bea B) @
Mean Dean - 02-11-2010 06:09

:angry: You've got THAT right Cee! It's the same when they find out that you are a Boy Scout too. I have lots of practice, & am now the best/fastest dish washer in the world, but have to do it My Way. So will help you do the dishes. I've even had to learn to cook, as my Honey hates it. Burns stuff like you know who. Maybe they are both DEVILISH!? :evil: Impossible to let them think you have no brain! Like personality - intelligence shows :!: Besides, you're "half a brain" is still better than most, so that won't work either. Maybe we should both begin burning the food too, or cook what they don't like :?: At least YOU are famous for your cooking :!: Maybe you could teach your kids to cook :?: C'est la vie mon ami :!:
unfortunate, but true.
cecelia - 02-11-2010 02:50

she really CAN'T cook. i think she's smarter than the rest of us tho. if i had half a brain, i'd never have let my family know that i CAN cook. my punishment for my stupidity is that i spend my life cooking meal to meal and washing dish to dish. always let 'em think you have no brain so they'll wait on you. cuz when they realize you DO have a brain, you wait on THEM.
Mean Dean - 02-10-2010 07:23

B) All you have to do is buy those meals in a bag at Walmart, & follow the instructions. Should feed the family, especially if you buy dinner rolls too. About $7! Or let 'em snack on celery with peanut butter topping. "Frozen coffee :?:" Sheesh...that would gag a maggot! Maybe y'all could eat lunch at school with the kids :?: Can Eggplant bring home leftover peanuts from his flights :?:Can Olivia cook :?: Check out the free movies from the library. And watch out for those "special sauce" lip kisses, you will probably have to name the result McDonald. :whistle:
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Last Updated on Thursday, 03 March 2011 10:40