Who Dat?
We have 6 guests onlineVisitors by Country
Top 92: | 92% | United States (28394) |
 | 2% | Netherlands (586) |
 | 2% | (479) |
 | <1% | Germany (175) |
 | <1% | United Kingdom (156) |
 | <1% | United Kingdom (154) |
 | <1% | Russian Federation (114) |
 | <1% | Ukraine (88) |
 | <1% | Canada (69) |
 | <1% | France (67) |
 | <1% | Spain (63) |
 | <1% | Portugal (56) |
 | <1% | Japan (45) |
 | <1% | China (37) |
 | <1% | Australia (31) |
 | <1% | Belgium (31) |
 | <1% | Belize (22) |
 | <1% | India (19) |
 | <1% | Switzerland (18) |
 | <1% | Brazil (16) |
 | <1% | Latvia (16) |
 | <1% | Moldova, Republic of (16) |
 | <1% | Seychelles (15) |
 | <1% | Hong Kong (13) |
 | <1% | Israel (13) |
 | <1% | Italy (13) |
 | <1% | Philippines (13) |
 | <1% | Sweden (12) |
 | <1% | Turkey (12) |
 | <1% | Belarus (Byelorussia) (11) |
 | <1% | Poland (10) |
 | <1% | New Zealand (9) |
 | <1% | Singapore (9) |
 | <1% | Luxembourg (7) |
 | <1% | Saudi Arabia (7) |
 | <1% | South Africa (7) |
 | <1% | Czech Republic (6) |
 | <1% | Pakistan (6) |
 | <1% | Thailand (6) |
 | <1% | Finland (5) |
 | <1% | Greece (5) |
 | <1% | Korea, Republic of (5) |
 | <1% | Mexico (5) |
 | <1% | Taiwan (5) |
 | <1% | Argentina (4) |
 | <1% | Malaysia (4) |
 | <1% | Norway (4) |
 | <1% | Romania (4) |
 | <1% | United Arab Emirates (4) |
 | <1% | Austria (3) |
 | <1% | Hungary (3) |
 | <1% | Iran, Islamic Republic of (3) |
 | <1% | Lithuania (3) |
 | <1% | Angola (2) |
 | <1% | Colombia (2) |
 | <1% | Croatia/Hrvatska (2) |
 | <1% | Indonesia (2) |
 | <1% | Lebanon (2) |
 | <1% | Morocco (2) |
 | <1% | Venezuela (2) |
 | <1% | Vietnam (2) |
 | <1% | Chile (1) |
 | <1% | Cocos Islands (Keeling) (1) |
 | <1% | Commercial (1) |
 | <1% | Costa Rica (1) |
 | <1% | Cyprus (1) |
 | <1% | Ecuador (1) |
 | <1% | Egypt (1) |
 | <1% | Estonia (1) |
 | <1% | Fiji (1) |
 | <1% | Former Soviet Union (1) |
 | <1% | Guatemala (1) |
 | <1% | Guyana (1) |
 | <1% | Honduras (1) |
 | <1% | Iraq (1) |
 | <1% | Ireland (1) |
 | <1% | Jordan (1) |
 | <1% | Kazakhstan (1) |
 | <1% | Kuwait (1) |
 | <1% | Mongolia (1) |
 | <1% | Network (1) |
 | <1% | Niue (1) |
 | <1% | Panama (1) |
 | <1% | Puerto Rico (1) |
 | <1% | Qatar (1) |
 | <1% | Senegal (1) |
 | <1% | Serbia (1) |
 | <1% | Slovak Republic (1) |
 | <1% | Slovenia (1) |
 | <1% | Tunisia (1) |
 | <1% | Tuvalu (1) |
 | <1% | Zambia (1) |
You are not logged in.
Visitors
 | Today | 146 |
 | This month | 1873 |
 | All (Since June 7, 2009) | 94574 |
Online (20 Minutes Ago): 10
| Mardi Gras Madness |
 |
 |
 |
| Written by Dean Flewwellin | ||||||||||||
| Saturday, 06 February 2010 20:49 | ||||||||||||
|
Ahhhh.....Mardi Gras is upon us again, where the "Who Dat Nation" goes berserk every year. February is the magic month, and now that the New Orleans Saints are going to the Super Bowl, the two parades that day have been moved back to earlier starting times. This is so everyone will be able to watch the game and because there might not be anybody but little rug-rats lining the parade route. Actually, the madness for the Saints is equal to the madness of Mardi Gras, where both total out to thousands of beer drinking yelling and screaming drunks. The Louisiana obsession with Mardi Gras beads is akin to the love of money. Parade float members (Krewes), who toss beads and toys from double-decker floats, spend hundreds of dollars for these trinkets. The Krewe costume and membership will normally bring the outlay up to $1,000 - on the average. Normally, in Houma, LA, there are seventeen parades - some two a day. The logistics of Mardi Gras are really impressive, and the planners deserve a standing ovation. My girlfriend is a participant, so I was able (think "told") to help her load her beads onto the pre-determined place on her float. These floats also have specific times to load, and the whole shebang is planned to a fine point - and it shows. There is even a tiny pee-pot on most of the ladies floats, in case your kidneys are "floating" too. Remember, some of these ladies are still drinking between throwing - or throwing up. We did have a drunk thrower fall off the upper deck of his float last year. Many float throwers attend the other parades, so they can catch as many beads as possible, so they can reuse them and save money. These people usually catch beads at the beginning of the parades, then drive to the end of the parade route to catch even more beads. Parade attendees line the route to muscle and finesse the art of catching as many beads as possible. Every year, attendees return home with colorful black and blue bruises, of which I can attest. You actually need to position yourself where you can out-jump and outwit the nearby nuts, who tend to be animalistic in their efforts for beads. Athletic ability, as well as timing can be instrumental in grappling for these flying beads. When you close your grubby little hand on those strings of beads, you must immediately give a strong quick jerk to snatch them from other psychos who are after the same beads. This is not the time to be "Mr. Nice Guy" or even fair, but to utilize the Golden Rule - "Do unto others as they would do unto you!" In other words....smash and mash at this rowdy bash! You can even yell like Hell, as you grab for those beads, especially if you know that nearby crazies will be leaping for the same ones. This helps immensely, as it scares them into holding back a split second. Everyone waves their arms wildly and yells "throw me some beads - Mister," which is only successful if you are a kid, or a sexy female. Try not to stand near a sexy girl wearing short shorts and high heels, as guys will lean way out of their floats and hand beads to her. Most of these "Equal Rights" ladies usually bounce their way up to the side of the floats and boldly ask for their best beads or extra beads - and those guys with eyes popping out of their heads will oblige them. Another hint to success is don't drink! There are a high percentage of beer and wine drinkers, as they tend to outnumber the mosquitoes. However, city officials have finally set up special "No Drinking" areas along the parade route. In addition, you must have a "Pee Plan." You should pee before you leave, and try to park your vehicle near the closest rest room. Note that you will also lose bead-catching time. Almost everyone owns a pickup here, so they simply back up and park with the back facing the parade, and set up folding chairs in the truck. Some even grille burgers there too. Now...the wine and mixed drink drunks celebrate Mardi Gras by attending a Tableau, which each major group holds for their members and special guests. This is a giant, very formal event held in the large arena with a large stage to honor and present the "Queen and Her Court," followed by a banquet and ball. This is something that everybody should experience, and I was happy that I did it - once. My Honey was associated with the Krewe of Aphrodite, a women only group, and also the most popular. The queen and her court (all dressed in those huge heavy costumes that you see on television) parade with their spouse or male friend in a circle - usually three times. Most of them are older couples and is probably why they walk so slowly. However, the heavy costume and the slow beat of the Mardi Gras Theme....over & over & over - are probably other reasons. Unlucky me....I hate repetition! I got bored out of my gourd early on, but I had backup. My newest good friend, who had attended numerous previous Tableaus, escorted me through all of the various procedures. His wife rode the float position next to my Honey. Now, the men are all decked out in their tuxedoes, and I was praying for great air-conditioning. I got it.....probably due to all of those heavy costumes the women were wearing. But my friend was also a drinker, which is a huge part of the culture here. About halfway through the loooong drawn out gala, my friend was obviously tipsy. He began to relate a looong story of the present queen, who happened to be involved in an adultery situation, and he seemed to know every sordid detail. I knew none of the participants, nor did I care, but he just plowed through it. He was also a wee bit loud, and figured that he could be heard by at least a row ahead and behind us. I was wrong! I saw the judge that he had introduced me to earlier, stand up about eight rows down and climb up the steps to ask me to try and quiet him down. "Judge," I whispered, "I've been trying to do that for the past half hour!" My friend just wouldn't shut up, even with me giving him an elbow in the ribs periodically. Finally, the never ending song became quiet, and so did my friend. We all went to eat and then dance. I think the food helped my friend immensely. Later, I found out that three of the guys seated behind us were related to the queen. C'est la vie! After my first Mardi Gras, my friends were awed by how many beads I had accumulated at my tender age of sixty-two. I didn't mention that I had been a high jumper, broad jumper, wide-receiver, and a third baseman. They said I was the best bead catching Yankee they had ever seen. I do highly recommend a Mardi Gras parade, and a Tableau, to anybody who can get to one. Mobile, Alabama claims to have had the first one, but you can find them in many cities and towns in Louisiana. They even have a parade on tiny Grand Isle. But the one thing.....make it two things.....that you probably won't see much of anymore - are females flashing their boobs. They made it illegal just before I arrived in Louisiana. And those were one.....make that two, of the main reasons I moved to Louisiana. C'est la vie! 
 
Only registered users can write comments!
Joomla components by Compojoom
|
||||||||||||
| Last Updated on Monday, 15 February 2010 20:14 |
