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Online (20 Minutes Ago): 6
The Truth PDF Print E-mail
Written by Cecelia Latoof   
Sunday, 14 September 2008 12:18

 

My son has entered an age when most (all) young males should know a few really important things about the differences between men and women. 

I was quite aware that this discussion with him was well past due when, at 13 years of age, he asked a few seemingly innocent questions.   You know, the Bathroom Bubble Gum and the White Cigars things.   Angie, my younger sister, blasted me for not seizing the moments and taking the opportunity to tell him 'The Truth'.  

She said some kid would probably pull out a condom at school to show off and my kid would inevitably grab it, open it, pop it in his mouth, and start chewing.   Then, my kid would have to leave town and never be able to show his face there again. 

So, I made the fateful first step toward rectifying my lapse in motherhood.   I gave my son his Aunt Angie's phone number and told him to give her a call.  

I figured if she thought 'The Truth' were that important, she should have the privilege of imparting it to him.   I wanted nothing to do with it.   I think lying to one's children is a right and a responsibility.   I mean, why tell the truth if a lie works perfectly well?

Ang called me later and ripped my butt.   She said that she'll never forgive me.   She wanted to know how I could possibly put her in that situation.   She also claims she intends to withhold from me the favor of hearing her voice.   I can live with that.  

She said after she had her talk with him, he thanked her, and said he now had to get off the phone and go vomit.   He was gagging as they hung up.   What part of that memory could I not live with without?

He has not mentioned a single word of this to me.   I have been spared every mother's nightmare: The Truth. 


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underOvr - 11-23-2009 06:57

Cecelia, you are too funny! I hope someday you allow your son to read this post. U :D
Awkward Moments
scifiguy - 11-05-2009 08:36

Ah, "The Talk" I had this talk with both my son and daughter. Being a single dad, I had no choice. The talk with my son went fine, but when it came time to have the same talk (just slightly rearranged) with my daughter.........The word for today, children, is AWKWARD! I felt so strange having that conversation with her. I think she was more mature about it than I was! I stumbled through it, though. Now, my daughter is totally responsible.......and my son? Can you say GRAMPA?
Livpink95 - 11-05-2008 14:33

wow!! lolz haha thats funny i know if i ever have kids when im older i would gladly hire someone and pay BIG money to have them explain "The Truth" to my kids, just so that i dont have to!!
tell it like it is
tuesday6 - 09-18-2008 07:30

this is so funny! i have 4 children,2 boys now 18 and 16.whenever they asked questions about these things i always gave the simplest answers for the appropriate age.at 6 my son caleb asked me the diff. between boys ...i wanted to use the correct terms so i said a boy has a p.n.. and a girl has a v..... oh he said that rymes with china,then he rolled over and went to sleep...i got out of That one easy!
CONTINUED FROM BELOW
Mean Dean - 09-15-2008 03:16

over an hour. It was hilarious, & all 3 generations thought the same. I wished that I had recorded it! As a boy of 13 in 1950, any discussion of sex (including condoms) was already 2 years too late. Now, I feel that most parents find that telling the truth about delicate subjects to their kids, is basically beyond their mental capacities or capabilities. Thus - undestandable! E-mails of our youngest generation now discuss all topics, using all 4-letter words.
THE TRUTH MAY HURT
Mean Dean - 09-15-2008 03:02

Both sides here have some merit, but "The Truth" gets my lifetime experiences vote. Discussing the truth about "getting shots," & thunder/lightning proved most beneficial for my rug-rats. When older, I told them that they could ask me anything about sex, that if I haven't already experienced it, that I probably knew something about it. They were slow to respond to that one! However, my Dad, my eldest son (about 25), & myself discussed our sexual preferences for over an hour......................
eloiselatoof - 09-14-2008 13:27

he lives with ua since the last two hurricanes and he hasn't mentioned it to us either. not that i want him to, you understand. i rather prefer that he use the refinement he was reared to practice. in other words, stay away from topics that could be uncomfortable in which to engage. some of those are sex, religion, and politics. you can speak about the weather. a few other topics are all right, too. but check with me first, i advise him.
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Last Updated on Sunday, 23 May 2010 18:33