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Written by Deborah Hamlin   
Monday, 29 November 2010 18:26

We all know how kids can over excite themselves about the littlest things, and my youngest daughter is no different.   She can see an earthworm and swear it’s a snake; or tell me how she’s SOOO hungry, she thinks she fainted twice on the way to the table.
Another example is when she fights with her older sister.   My goodness, you have not seen drama until you’ve seen those two fight, unless, of course, you see me and my sister fight.   At least with those two it’s only a matter of a Barbie’s head being snapped off, but with us, it usually involves police tape and eye witness accounts.
I remember when I was in the kitchen one day and I heard a shriek from upstairs.   It was either a spider in my daughter’s bedroom, or there was a fight going on.   I was hoping for the spider.
A few seconds later, I heard more shrieks followed by loud banging.   I walked to the foot of the stairs and called upstairs.
“You girls better take it outside!   This house is a rental, and I can’t afford the blood stains on the carpet!”
“MOM!!”   I heard the oldest yell back.   “I caught Dahnia touching my Michael Jackson CD!”
“I was not!”   She yelled back.
“Yes you were, you liar!   I hate you!”
“Well, I hate you more than anyone can ever hate anyone in the history of EVER!!”
“MOM! Punish her!!”   Amani demanded.
“Punish HER!" She screamed back.   “Make her move out of the house!”
“Kill her!”   Dahnia demanded in return.
“Enough!”   I yelled.   “I don’t care who did what!    Just get along or get out!”
They absolutely can’t stand when I don’t take one side.   Most of the time they ignore what I say, but suddenly, when they want my endorsement, I am the Wise Guru on the Hill, and my word is law.
I used to mess with their little heads about that.   Sometimes, when all three of my kids are whining and start demanding to know which one of them is my favorite, I just smile and tell them I love them ALL….
but only ONE is my favorite.
Then they spend the next hour trying to figure out which one it is.
It’s good to be the Wise Guru.
One day recently, Dahnia was playing outside and came into the house where I sat in the living room folding laundry.
“Mommy, I see smoke outside.”
“Oh, it’s probably just a neighbor burning leaves.”
She thought about that and went back outside.
A couple of minutes later, she came back in.
“Mommy, I can see the fire.”
“Baby, it’s nothing.   It’s just a neighbor close by.”
“I don’t think so,” she said, as she walked back outside.

About five minutes later, she came back inside.
“Mommy, I REALLY think you should come and see this.”
I sighed.
“Sweetheart, mommy’s really busy right now.   I’m sure it’s no big deal.   Now go and play.”
I went upstairs to put away the laundry.
That was when I heard the sirens.
Uh Oh.
I rushed outside where my daughter stood in the driveway, and we saw a neighbor’s garage fully engulfed in flames.
“See mommy.   I told you it wasn’t burning leaves.”
We saw the approaching fire truck race past our house and I just KNOW they saw the look of guilt on my face.
“Wow, mommy.   If you had believed me at first, you could have called the fire department a long time ago.   Maybe they could have saved it.”
Yeah, thanks, kid.   Like that thought never occurred to me.
The one time she didn't exaggerate and a man loses a Buick.

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 08 December 2010 17:11